down the rabbit hole

family: a blessing, a curse, the learned dysfunction, things and people out of our control, the baggage one carries through life. one woman's story of the craziness that makes up her family. the hurts, disappointments, fun, hilarity, tears, laughter, life and death.

25 March 2006

the beginning

chuck and i first met during our freshman year. he was dating a friend of mine. i didn't give him much of a look......i was dating someone else. however, due to some mutual friends, we often ended up at the same parties and talked some.

in fact, he came to our "hotel" party. my friends and i rented a room at a hotel in fargo and organized a nice little party. liquor, two beds, 6 couples. some sex, mostly heavy making out. chuck seemed a little uncomfortable in the surroundings. although to give him an out.....he was surrounded with theatre, art and music majors (not exactly his cup of tea).

we didn't see each other much our sophomore year. we were on the outer periphery of each other's lives. he was pre-med, i was psychology and organizational communications. i was involved in theatre, the campus radio station, chairing the homecoming show......he was involved in science stuff. not disciplnes that overlapped much.

our junior year, i was living in an off-campus apartment with 3 friends. that fall there was the proverbial campus rapist. seemed to happen every fall. i was leaving campus late one evening, wondering about the safety of walking several blocks alone. i bumped into chuck leaving the library. he offered to walk me home.

so, we walked and talked about the previous summer, the beginning of our junior year, the mundane of life....oh, and the ever present fall campus rapist.

it was almost midnight when we arrived at my apartment (the finished basement of a single mom making up some cash flow with her extra rooms). we stood in the back yard, watching the aurora borealis sparkle in the night sky (one of my favorite parts of going to college in northwestern minnesota).

i stood on the stoop as we talked and looked at the night sky, chuck's arm all of a sudden around my waist. then pulling me toward him and kissing me. such a romantic first kiss......midnight, watching the aurora borealis, after being escorted home by a tall, handsome man.....who was my protector that evening.

he left a note and a rose in my campus mailbox the next day, asking me out. a total sucker for and believer in romance in those days, how could i resist that? well, i couldn't. we made a date for the weekend......a movie i believe. and of course the walk home.

we seemed to run into each other a great deal that week on campus. we even managed to lunch together a couple days.

three weeks into our dating, his roommate was leaving town (chuck also lived off campus). we decided to spend the weekend together at his place. now, i was still a virgin at this point in my life (thanks to my mom and the fear of god she managed to instill in me).

the weekend came, and i arrived with a small bag of clothes (which i didn't use). we left to pick up some groceries, wine and other needs before snuggling in for the next 2 days.

i lost my virginity to chuck that weekend. okay, not a really big surprise.

i remember the evening so clearly. we made some dinner......that i don't remember. i did dishes and then we curled up on the couch with wine to watch a movie. we never saw much of the movie.......we ended up on the floor, making out like kids.........his shirt came off, my sweater came off. we spent time getting to know each other's upper bodies.

we took a break for the news and nightline......the iranian hostage crisis was in full swing at that time. as nightline wound down, we found each other's mouths again. the kisses led to more exploration and soon my jeans were off and his hands were exploring the wetness of my pussy as i gasped with pleasure.

before i got to taking off his jeans and exploring his hard cock with my hands and mouth, chuck suggested we head to the bed. naked, i got up to go wash my face and brush my teeth as chuck locked up for the evening. he followed me into the bathroom where he went through his own bedtime preparations.

he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. folding down the bedcovers, he gently lifted me up and laid me down on the bed, lowering himself on top of me. i remember his kisses......the tickling and roughness from his beard, our searching tongues, my nervousness. i also remember my pussy being so wet and aching....our hips were pressing hard against each other.

i raised my legs up to his waist, crossing my ankles behind his back as his cock seemed to just slip right into my pussy. i gasped, he moaned, and in typical 20 year old fashion.....he came quickly. and i'm thinking......okay, that felt pretty good, but is that all there is? he fell asleep......i masturbated and fell asleep.

we woke up fairly early, falling into kisses and more exploration. this time, chuck actually wandered south, tasting my tits, and ending up with his tongue on my clit. he stayed there for a bit, but before i came, he stopped, moved back up and fucked me again. he was blissed and i was frustrated.

we spent the weekend naked in the apartment, getting up from bed to eat, do a little homework (and chuck had to watch some of the 3 stooges. what is it with men and larry, moe and curly?). but, we spent most of the time in bed.

during the making of dinner saturday evening, chuck came up behind me as i stirred something on the stove. his hard cock pressed into my ass, his hands on my breasts, lips on my neck.....we ended up on the floor of the kitchen, fucking like there was no tomorrow. and finally.......finally, chuck got me to cum.......with his fingers as he kissed me. that did it for me. i'd cum before with boyfriends in high school.....mostly from fingers slipped beneath jeans and panties (with one, naked in bed, hoping his parents wouldn't come home too early).

but cumming like that, then having him fuck me again......i was finally blissed and in a thick sex haze. the rest of saturday and part of sunday, we played, we explored and learned each other's bodies pretty well.

that was the beginning of our four years together (two of them married). as we left his apartment sunday night, i commented to chuck, laughing, that since he'd taken my virginity, we had to get married.

sometimes, when i look back on those days, and all the things that transpired during our four years together, i wonder........did he marry me partially out of some strange obligation?

during our divorce, he did own up to marrying me because he figured my parents had enough money to help put him through med school. alas, my parents' divorce fucked up that little idea of his.

i wonder if we ever loved each other really........


At 27 March, 2006 11:28, Blogger Master Enigma said...

Really nice. You are a gifted writer.

At 27 March, 2006 11:34, Blogger rose said...

oh, thank you. as are you!


At 01 April, 2006 12:44, Blogger stefanmedo said...

beautiful. I agree with master enigma, you're gifted alright. I appreciate your female perspective and I really admire your honest approach to what you have to say. you're interesting. Just thought I'd say that. I'll keep reading.


At 01 April, 2006 12:48, Blogger rose said...

stefan.....thanks for the comment. i appreciate your kind words. there's more reading to do at my other blog....a life restarted.

welcome to the rabbit hole!


At 01 April, 2006 15:15, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what can i say..... somehow i have landed on your site and i was looking for something very different, i guess a matter of circumstance. me im from the other side of the pond but you recall the first days of loosing your virginity just like mine (except the 3 stooges) and the real excitement and flustration of it all. sorry i took the liberty to read the other matters you are releaving off your chest...... parents; love them but regression hurts bad as does misplaced trust. be good and keep safe rose blogger!


Post a Comment

<< Home