down the rabbit hole

family: a blessing, a curse, the learned dysfunction, things and people out of our control, the baggage one carries through life. one woman's story of the craziness that makes up her family. the hurts, disappointments, fun, hilarity, tears, laughter, life and death.

09 March 2006

meet the family

welcome to my rabbit hole. sometimes that's how i feel about my family......that it's been a long trip down the rabbit hole, wondering when the strangeness will stop. yet, it goes on.

so, without further ado, please meet my lovely family......both living and dead (as the story just isn't complete without dad):

speaking of dad, let's start with him. he's the spectre that continues to haunt the family. in ways both good and bad. but he's our dad, for better or worse. he's been gone for 9 years now. however, his legacy continues to play an important role. dad was a lutheran pastor for all of my life (prior to that an electrical engineer), who couldn't seem to keep his pants zipped. now, i realize that extramarital affairs are not uncommon. however, one should not screw the women in one's own congregations. tends to bite one in the ass......over and over again. he divorced mom after 37 years of marriage. he lends a great deal of levity to the family story.

mom.....wow, she was a tough lady. her italian temper was legendary as was her constant judgment of all of us. sundays, the standing joke was that mom served up "roast preacher" for dinner. her way of showing love was to pick and judge until we would change. you can imagine the effect that truly had on all of us. however, if you weren't a family member, you'd best be prepared to suffer her anger if you said a bad word about any of us. now, suffering from alzheimer's and heading into the late stages, those hurtful tendencies are gone. in their place is a loving, caring child. it's sad that she had to suffer from such a disease to learn to enjoy life and her family without judgment. that was the one silver lining in the early stages of the disease.

gerry.......the first born, and still feeling the weight of that responsibility. we are 13 years apart. i didn't know him well growing up. he thought me a spoiled child until i turned 30. now, we share a bond, actually forged when i was a very small child, before the craziness tore the family apart for a time. he's the one who's living the "normal" life. 2 kids (grown boys) , a wife of 36 years, a dog, the house in suburbia.......he's also a pastor (but keeps his pants zipped). we make each other laugh and are able to honestly communicate (until recently a rare thing in our family for anyone).

hannah.......we've decided that she's the one the milkman actually delivered. maybe it's the typical middle child syndrome. personally, i just think it's her decision not to face life in any realistic manner. we are 10 years apart and have always had a difficult relationship. presently, she's slowly cutting herself off from the rest of us. she is divorced with one very bratty 21 year old daughter. can you tell we get along really well?

and then there's me, your guide on this journey.....rose: the youngest......in some ways an only child. i pretty much raised myelf from about 10 years old, on. mom was too busy worrying about dad. dad was too busy screwing other women and trying to keep congregations afloat while keeping his secret. the family consensus is that i'm the "black sheep"......leaving the midwest, moving to new york, chasing my dream (acting) which has since changed, breaking with the family expectations. the family rebel....yup, that's me.

oh, i suppose i should introduce you to gerry's wife, hope. i should actually call her hopeless. she can be the most pessimistic person i know. oddly enough, more judgmental than my mom ever thought of being. she's a nurse. the daughter of mennonite missionaries who lived in africa the first 8 years of her life. due to hostilities in papau new guinea, her parents sent her stateside and she grew up with an aunt and uncle. more "holier than thou" than anyone i know (well, with the exception of her father). she can be a challenge.

of course, there are other characters you'll meet along the way. my nephews and niece, friends, the occasional aunts and uncles, the ex-husband.

the stories won't come in chronological order.......but hopefully the rollercoaster ride down the rabbit hole will amuse, bemuse, provoke thought and maybe insight........

welcome to my rabbit hole.......

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home